Listen, I’m not sure if there’s some sort of world record for this kind of thing but I am already completely over the school year.
On Day 8.
Guinness, call me.
There are now two full-time students in my house and that’s two too many. Two folders, two sets of prized coloring we can never throw away, two boxes of the Word’s Greatest Chocolate coming home today for us to sell over the next two weeks.
Saffron has been attempting to convince me Skillet is not allowed to sell said chocolate bars at the college marching band rehearsal as we have been doing for the past two years straight.
Because, according to her, that’s HER spot. He has to find his own selling angle.
I reminded her she owns nothing, is in charge of nothing, and certainly did not come up with the idea to sell to hungry college students. That piece of intellectual property belongs to me.
And I say he can sure-as-shooting sell at the same location.
Additional items I am currently over:
Curriculum nights. Not because of the information or the teachers. They are DELIGHTS. But because I have to drag my children along with me. Skillet greeted every kid who came in the room with a hug or a wave or a special handshake which is lovely but also incredibly disruptive when we are all trying to learn about what types of snacks we can and cannot send each day. Not to be outdone, Saffron took her Junie B. Jones books and proceeded to read OUT LOUD while her teacher was talking. Child, no.
Cooking Dinner. Can I interest you in a bowl of ALDI’s Cocoa Rice?
Packing lunches. Sister, if two cheese sticks and three slices of turkey will fill you up, then go with God.
The Heat. Please see item one, Curriculum nights. Because why let us in the building three minutes early? That’s just silly.
Nightly Room Clean Up. It is some sort of miracle of science that my daughter and her two friends can manage to COMPLETELY DESTROY her room in less than 60 minutes but, alas, they manage to accomplish that task every.single.day. Which would be fine. If it weren’t for the two hours it then takes my daughter to shove it all under the bed, throw it in the closet, and stick heaven-only-knows-what in any available drawer. IT’S FINE.
Stomach bugs. No less than two kids out of each of my kids’ classes went home after throwing up yesterday. During class. What’s the over/under on both of them being sick Saturday?
So really, Y’all, I can’t bring myself to be super holy this week. Or even mediocre-ly holy.
I’d love to blame it on the fact I’m still dragging my foot around in a super cool medical boot while my “bone bruise” (which totally sounds like a made up injury) continues it’s ridiculously long healing process, but I can’t.
Although it’s highly likely we could blame it on my inability to run off all of my crazy THANKS TO the bone bruise situation, but that’s not all of it either.
I think I am just genuinely not quite sure about both kids and ALL their school stuff.
Thus, here is my unholy gratitude list from this past week…
Skillet’s Forgiveness – My son created a Mario Mailbox for the door of his room. It’s incredibly cute. Blue overalls 100% included. So he’s been asking me to put some “mail” in Mario’s front pocket. And friends, I have forgotten EVERY DAY this week. I cannot express to you how kind he has been when after he sprints across the crosswalk to ask me if I gave him mail, my face falls and I have to confess I am the worst mom ever. Sorry, son.
All the Single Ladies – Thanks to Just Dance, both of my kids will randomly burst into a brilliant version of this Beyonce classic. My son singing, “If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it,” is everything I ever dreamed motherhood would be.
Foot-less – Saffron’s been reading her Junie B. Jones book a chapter at a time to me before bed. Last night’s chapter, her mom was attempting to convince Junie B. she did not need a boyfriend in kindergarten. Instead, little girls should be “footloose and fancy-free.” But my daughter kept reading it as “foot-less” which seemed a bit extreme when it comes to limiting one’s dating years, ALTHOUGH, worth considering. Hard no to kindergarten boyfriends.
I’m Your Venus – As our clean-up music, we have been listening to the Sing soundtrack. Because I cannot listen to The Greatest Showman soundtrack one more time. Ariana Grande and Stevie Wonder are perfection. However, there is a cover of the Bananarama classic, Venus, which my son sings as “I’m you pen*s, I’m your fire.” I realize I shouldn’t find that funny, since I’m NOT a 14-year-old boy, but I cannot help myself. Don’t worry, I’ve corrected him but let’s face it, his version is way better.
Corn dogs – Yesterday was $0.50 corn dog day at Sonic. Skillet loves corn dogs. Like really, really loves corn dogs. So I thought I’d be Mother of the Year and take the kids for a treat after school. Everyone was totally on board. CORN DOGS, YES. Only. Once we got there, no one wanted a corn dog. They all wanted their usual order. A blue raspberry slushie with five cherries and two mini Oreo blasts. You’re welcome, kids. Signed, Sucker of the Year.
Some weeks (or entire seasons) are just like this. Things are a bit overwhelming and life gets a tad EXTRA. I mean, we could throw “trouble” in the mix but let’s be honest here, nothing about anything getting under my skin this week is trouble.
Bombs, chemo, shootings, type 1 diabetic children unable to afford life-saving insulin because the pharmaceutical company has raised the price 800% lately…those things are “trouble.”
What I am dealing with is adjusting to our new normal. Two kids, two folders, two teachers to meet with and serve, two lunchtimes two hours apart from each other. It’s not life-shattering stuff but, at least this week, it felt like a lot.
But I’ve been walking this gratitude path with Jesus for a while now and I know, when the frustrations and irritations and “trouble” comes, the best way to hit the hard reset button is to start rattling off things to be grateful for right in that minute.
Don’t try to be super fancy or Pharisee-level holy. This isn’t what anyone else would list nor what anyone else thinks about your list. This is you and God having a chat and listen, I suspect He giggles at “foot-less” and smiles at Skillet’s forgiving his momma for a solid week.
It’s possible He doesn’t find the Venus situation as funny as I do, however. I’m aware. But I can be grateful for silly miracle little boys who still love snuggles and run to their momma when she surprises him at lunch.
The point and process of the discipline of gratitude aren’t to try and show off for your Creator. He’s not impressed. But He does love a sincere offering and an honest confession.
And He probably likes corn dogs too.